


blue flower, red thorns

by rockiedogs



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Shrek AU, i have made some promises... will i follow through?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockiedogs/pseuds/rockiedogs
Summary: “You, flying woman, have won the tournament. The prize is unbeatable: the chance to face a dragon and rescue my future wife from a tower.”“Did you just say dragon?”“Yes. And lava, and stairs, but you can fly, so it shouldn’t be a problem for you.”ORShrek AU.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 69
Kudos: 216





	1. The part when Kara is angry

**Author's Note:**

> SHREK AU what more can i say

For such an unusual day, nothing was unusual about Kara’s morning routine. She woke up, took a shower in boiling water with her diamond-powder exfoliator, ate three packages of sticky buns (including one raw because she couldn’t wait long enough), and put on her favorite brown pants, blue button-up, and sexiest belt. She was ready for another day of perfect solitude.

Unfortunately, the world had other plans. While she was enjoying her alone time, her favorite and only hobby, Lord Lockwood had been rounding up all the aliens from near and far (very far) for reasons unfathomable to the reasonable, and certainly unthinkable for Kara, whose humble abode was chosen by escapees as a hiding place.

Kara floated slowly up towards the roof of her ice castle. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY FORTRESS?” she bellowed.

Everyone froze, though she hadn’t used her freeze breath.

“We’re hiding from Lockwood,” said one small, green person.

“Why’s that?”

“He’s been rounding up aliens for reasons unfathomable to the reasonable, and we thought we’d be safe here. It’s so empty, and secluded.”

“Damn right it’s empty and secluded! Why do you think I live here? They don’t call it the Fortress of Solitude for nothing.”

“Well, if you don’t mind, miss…”

Kara was briefly silent, hoping that if she pretended hard enough that she wasn’t talking to a trespasser, everyone would go away. It didn’t happen, so finally she answered, “Danvers.”

“Hmm? Oh yes, Miss Danvers, if we could just hide here…” the poor alien started before falling asleep. Perhaps Kara’s pause was longer than she had thought, for it seemed as though everyone was sleeping, even the extra-large bats.

She supposed they could spend the night. She wasn’t totally heartless, after all.

* * *

Back at Lord Lockwood’s palace, things were getting out of hand.

“Hurry up, it’s my bedtime,” Lockwood shouted from his bed to a hallway, not knowing if anyone was even outside.

Five minutes later, someone walked in. “I have some… unfortunate news,” he said.

“Well, tell me what it is,” said Lockwood, sounding alert, though his eyes were closed.

“You can’t become a king unless you’re married.”

Closed eyes were no longer a part of the equation. Actually, Lockwood’s eyes had popped open so forcefully that they had almost fallen right out of their sockets. His blood was boiling. He could feel rage strong enough to burn his whole city to the ground coursing through his veins. He hated everyone who wasn’t himself, how could he possibly be married? But he wanted nothing more than to rule the world. This would really slow his plans of world domination.

“That is unfortunate,” he replied, and promptly fell asleep.

Yet morning came for Lockwood just as it comes for everyone else.

“I need a wife,” he announced at his breakfast of eggs and toast. Don’t ask where the eggs came from.

“Sir?” said one of the guards after a moment’s pause.

“If I am to be king, I need a wife. And I am to be king.”

“As you wish, sir.”

Lockwood slammed his fist on the table. “I do _not_ wish, there is nothing I want less than to be married, but there are times when one faces no other option. By the way, you’re fired.”

The brave guard gulped.

“Just kidding! Just kidding good fellow, haw haw. But watch your mouth. And someone, please find me a wife.”

* * *

Locked away in a the tallest of many towers, in a castle surrounded by lava and guarded by a dragon, sat Princess Lena. She knew the tales well – one day, a knight in beautiful, shiny armor would cross the warm moat, slay the beast, run up the 200 flights of stairs, and whisk Lena away to a life of love and happiness. He would be kind, and brave, and handsome, and they would be the loves of each others’ lives, incomplete without one another. A match made by the stars.

Lena was very excited for this day to arrive. There was literally nothing else going on in her life, so she hoped it would happen soon.

* * *

“That’s the long and the short of it,” the henchman — sorry, aide — finished explaining.

“So she’s just sitting there, waiting to be rescued? And she’ll marry whoever rescues her?” asked Lockwood

“Yep, that pretty much sums it up! Beautiful princess, ready to be a wife, no strings attached.”

“Interesting. I like this idea. We shall hold a tournament. Whichever lucky fellow wins gets to go save my bride.”

* * *

Back at Kara’s swamp, things were getting out of hand. No one was leaving. In fact, the population of hideaways had doubled in the last hour. She needed to do something.

“You say this is Lockwood’s fault?” Kara asked another refugee, a girl with long black hair wearing a blue bodysuit.

“Sure is! He’s been building up to this for months, I can’t believe you haven’t noticed anything before.”

“I live alone. Completely alone. At least, I would like to.”

“Right, so, what are you gonna do about it?”

Kara hadn’t thought about that yet. She wanted these people to leave; she wanted her home back. As an alien herself, she also wanted justice for the mistreated, though that was secondary to her desire for peace and quiet.

“Kara?” said the girl.

“Oh right. Yeah. I’m gonna talk to this Lord Lockwood myself,” resolved Kara.

“Good for you! I’m coming with.”

“Oh no you’re not.”

“You want me to leave, right? That’s what this is all about? Think of it like I’m just leaving early.”

Though Kara hated company, the girl made a point.

“Fine, you can come, but you have to tell me your name so I can stop calling you ‘the girl.’”

The girl turned around, said “Yes,” softly, and did a little dance, before facing Kara. “My name is Girl. But you can call me Nia Nal if you want.”

Kara stuck out her hand. “Nice to meet you, Nia Nal.”

Nia shook it. “Just Nia is fine, actual–”

“Nope. And I’m changing first.”

* * *

After what felt like hours of trekking through unfamiliar territory, but was actually just a twenty-minute walk down the road, Kara and Nia finally arrived at Lockwood’s palace. They were greeted by an automated puppet show, which Kara had to resist burning to the ground.

Just beyond the gates, they found themselves in the middle of a battle between all of Lockwood’s best guards. Kara was just as confused about what they were fighting for as they were about her presence. Whatever, no one was doing anything anymore.

Now was her time.

“Lord Lockwood, I’ve come to speak with you,” Kara called out to him.

“So speak.”

“There are aliens hiding in my fortress, and I would really love for them to be gone.”

“I changed my mind. Stop speaking. Guards, kill her.”

“Foiled, yet again!,” said Kara, before realizing that she wasn’t a supervillain and that she should fight back.

It was too simple. Kara flew above them all, knocking them out with her freeze breath, punching a few guys who got too close. Nia seemed to dodge every attack as if she knew they were coming.

“Stop fighting!” shouted Lockwood.

Just like that, every one of his men stopped.

“You, flying woman, have won the tournament. The prize is unbeatable: the chance to face a dragon and rescue my future wife from a tower.”

“Did you just say dragon?”

“Yes. And lava, and stairs, but you can fly, so it shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

“But why would I do it?”

“Because,” Lockwood paused to think, “if you do, I will free all the aliens within a five-mile radius of your home to encourage them to return to their own.”

“Make it twenty.”

“Ten.”

“Fifteen.”

“Deal,” said Lockwood. “You’d better get moving."


	2. The part when Kara and Nia take a walk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Nia sat at a table by the window, Nia humming the Sharknado theme song while they waited.
> 
> “Go, go, go, go, go, go, go—”
> 
> “That’s enough,” Kara cut her off.
> 
> Finally, Kara’s two orders of table-sized waffles, and Nia’s one regular waffle with a very large coffee, arrived at the table.
> 
> “Lena’s tower is about eight miles due east. Breakfast is on the house for our heroes,” said the horned man from earlier with a wink.
> 
> Kara had never saved anyone from her, but she thought she might do the opposite Nia if she couldn’t shut up about shark-filled tornadoes.
> 
> OR
> 
> Kara and Nia visit Princess Lena's tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter two is finally done! big thanks to @rachelberrykin on tumblr/@hexgrls on twitter for helping me work out some details and for showing me the tweet that inspired this fic

Nia was asleep, yet again, and not peacefully. How one girl could constantly be having such vivid dreams baffled Kara, but not so much that she would bother asking.

“There’s something wrong with the dragon,” Nia said as she jolted awake.

“I hardly see how that’s a bad thing.”

“It could be.”

“It isn’t. Let’s get moving.” Kara held out her hand to Nia and pulled her up before Nia had a chance to react.

The pair walked for a few minutes, Kara’s stomach constantly complaining of hunger. She had to admit, an empty stomach put her in a sour mood, and also was not entirely sure where they were going. Only that some unknowable force was guiding her in this direction, and Nia wasn’t stopping her.

Over the hill was a small café. Kara finally noticed the smells of hot, delicious breakfast foods that had filled the air, drawing her nearer.

“Let’s eat!” she said to Nia, who suddenly had a new pep in her step.

The café was made of stone, painted white; its roof was a lovely brown hay. The inhabitants, at closer glance, were all aliens, and froze at the sight of strange incomers.

“How can I help you?” asked a tough-looking man with horns.

Kara answered him, “we’ve been walking for miles, and hoped you would have something to eat.”

“And directions to Princess Lena’s tower,” added Nia.

So, she _had_ known that Kara was lost.

The man peered at the two of them for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Alright,” he finally said, “we have waffles and giant waffles, grab yourselves some seats.”

Kara and Nia sat at a table by the window, Nia humming the _Sharknado_ theme song while they waited.

“Go, go, go, go, go, go, go—”

“That’s enough,” Kara cut her off.

Finally, Kara’s two orders of table-sized waffles, and Nia’s one regular waffle with a very large coffee, arrived at the table.

“Lena’s tower is about eight miles due east. Breakfast is on the house for our heroes,” said the horned man from earlier with a wink.

Kara had never saved anyone from her, but she thought she might do the opposite Nia if she couldn’t shut up about shark-filled tornadoes.

* * *

On the road again, Kara and Nia walked directly towards the sun. The climbed every mountain, forded every stream, and followed every rainbow – which were suspiciously plentiful for a place that hadn’t seen any rain in months. Kara thought nothing of them.

They paused again for lunch in a meadow two hours later to Nia’s merry tune of Ed Sheeran’s overplayed “Castle on a Hill.”

Kara announced, “I’m going to go foraging.”

“I can help,” said Nia.

Kara thought about, but decided she needed a break from Nia’s dreadful optimism. “No thanks,” she said, “and I’ll carry you piggyback style the rest of the way if you stop singing.”

Nia huffed, “I don’t like your tone, and I’m not sure I can stop when the weather is so wonderful!”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’m going to go eat these red berries over here.”

Nia’s eyes bugged in fear, but Kara had swallowed them before she could say anything. She had already seen what Kara’s stomach could handle and opted instead for some apples off a nearby tree.

They both wished they had packed food.

When she finished eating, Kara suddenly remembered that she could not only fly but also had super strength, so there really was no reason for her to hike eight miles with Nia, whom she maybe didn’t hate.

“You ready to go?” she asked Nia, whose mouth was full of apple.

“No,” Nia said once she finished chewing.

“Good,” said Kara as she scooped Nia into her arms, snatching the apple core out of the air as it fell from Nia’s unprepared hand.

* * *

They arrived at the castle shortly after. It was surrounded by a lava moat with a single rickety bridge across. They could hear the roar of the dragon coming from inside.

“Whoa,” said Nia.

Kara did a quick X-ray scan of the castle, but couldn’t see any sign of the dragon. There was a person, though, at the top of the tower, moving her arms in a strange way… Could she be doing the zipper? No, this was something else, something almost sinister.

“I don’t see the dragon, so I’ll just grab Lena and go,” Kara said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, let’s bounce.”

And bounce they did, off of the dragon that appeared out of nowhere.

“Yowzah!” Kara yelled. She barely saved Nia from plummeting to her death.

“I thought you said there was no dragon!”

“Clearly, there is a dragon!”

Kara retaliated with a few shots of laser eyes, which the dragon dodged easily. Nia, still in Kara’s arms, tried to coil her dream rope around its legs, but missed. Yet this angered the dragon, who fought back with a loud roar and fire, singeing the end of Kara’s hair. Nia took Kara’s momentary distraction as an opportunity to free herself from her grip and jump onto the roof. Kara then flew directly at the dragon’s eye, which was a mistake, because the dragon tried to bite her when she got close. Maybe its stomach was a good target? No, too many claws.

On the ground, Nia went again for the dragon’s legs, this time from behind. She did manage to lasso one foot, but the dragon simply shook it off, almost knocking Nia off of the roof with its tail in the process.

The dragon’s attention quickly turned back to Kara, who was once again trying to get close enough to throw a punch. It swatted her away with the back of its hand, sending Kara flying through the window to Lena’s room.

Nia had nowhere left to go. The dragon reached its arm out to grab her.

“You seem really smart for a dragon,” she said.

This made the dragon pause. Perhaps even smile.

“It was like you, um, you knew when our attacks were coming. You avoided them so easily! And your aim, it’s impeccable!”

The dragon grabbed the terrified Nia anyways, but not to crush and eat her. Nia had seen enough skeletons through the castle windows to know this was a possibility. Instead, it took her inside. Nia was still scared, but now also curious.

She was carried to the basement, to a room where a man sat surrounded by computer screens. The dragon set her down.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kara was sitting in a small room at the top of the tower, watching Princess Lena pretend to sleep. Her heartrate gave her away.

She took no time to dwell on Lena’s beauty. “It’s time to go,” she said.

Lena opened her eyes. “Oh, you’ve come to rescue me!” said she, though her enthusiasm sounded fake. “I was expecting—”

“Someone different? Aren’t we all,” Kara finished for her. “Come on, it’s time to go.”

She picked Lena up and jumped out the window. Lena screamed the whole time, which gave Kara a little chuckle. Perhaps she stayed in freefall for just a moment too long, but no matter. They landed safely on the roof.

“Nia?” Kara called out.

“Who’s Nia? You didn’t come alone?”

“No, Princess, I didn’t. And as much as I want to, I think Nia would kill me if I left her here alone with the dragon.”

“You didn’t kill the dragon?!” Lena yelled. This was her last straw.

“I had no time!”

Kara did another scan of the castle, ignoring whatever Lena was going on about. Still no dragon in sight, but she did see two people holding hands in the basement. She didn’t want to think about what that might mean, only to make a beeline towards the only other sign of life in the castle.

The dragon was asleep by the door, if asleep is a word that could be applied to something so lifeless. Did Nia actually kill it?

“Oh, Kara, this is Brainy,” Nia said as Kara walked through door.

“Pleasure,” said a man with long hair and green skin, shaking Kara’s hand.

“It’s all mine. But tell me, Brainy, who are you?”

“Yes, of course,” he said, “I am the dragon. Well, I control the dragon. I built it, too, out of material undetectable by modern technology. Which includes X-rays; they pass right through.”

“I told you something was wrong with it!” Nia interjected.

“But why?” asked Kara.

“Someone had to do it! Rescuing a princess is not meant to be easy work, no. You see, Lena is a very special princess, and I was charged with her protection. And she really deserves it, you’ll see.”

“I’m sorry, have we met?” Lena asked.

“My apologies, Princess. Your parents asked me to keep my identity a secret, which is why I built the dragon.”

Lena didn’t seem to believe it. “Thank you for making my life harder,” was all she had to say.

“I think it’s best we leave now,” Kara said, anxious to leave this strange man behind and get Lena, who still seemed upset about the situation despite the fact that she had just been rescued, off her hands.

“Yes, I think it is too. Goodbye crew, and goodbye Nia Nal,” said Brainy.

Kara picked up Lena and Nia and flew them back across the lava moat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh, nuts!! what did everyone think of this chapter?
> 
> more surprises in store!

**Author's Note:**

> i started this months ago and i have nothing else ready! but i might write more if enough people want to see it
> 
> follow me on twitter and tumblr @leaningluthor


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